Peel Me A Grape

By D. Frishberg

Peel me a grape, crush me some ice
Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow
Tell me a joke, talk to me nice
You got to wine me and dine me

Don’t try and train me, chow mein me
Best way to serve me, hors d’oeuvre me
I’m getting hungry, peel me a grape

Pop me a cork, French me a fry
Crack me a nut, bring a bowl fulla bon-bons
Chill me some wine, keep standing by
Just entertain me, champagne me

Best way to cheer me, cashmere me
Best way to smell me, Chanel me
I’m getting hungry, peel me a grape

Here’s how to be an agreeable chap
Love me and leave me in luxury’s lap
Hop when I holler, skip when I snap
When I say ‘do it,’ jump to it

Send out for Scotch, call me a cab
Cut me a rose, make my tea with the petals
Just hang around, pick up the tab
Never outthink me, just mink me

Polar bear rug me, don’t bug me
New Thunderbird me, you heard me
I’m getting hungry, peel me a grape